


First Impressions

by straeon



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-09
Updated: 2015-03-09
Packaged: 2018-03-17 02:50:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3512417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/straeon/pseuds/straeon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Aaron and Robert met before they first met onscreen?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First chapter is imagining how Robert and Aaron might have first met in canon. Second and Third chapters continue from that in an AU way from a request.

Aaron didn’t notice the soon-to-be son-in-law at first. His first thoughts when the Whites moved to the village were concern for how Edna was going to handle living so near the man her husband had been in love with. And curiosity about him after Edna had suddenly revealed what had happened between them, before the Whites themselves had been near the village. 

Coming out had been hard enough for Aaron without having the threat of prison looming over him if he wanted to be with a man. He couldn’t imagine, but still it played over in his head when he first saw Lawrence White around. It made him oddly thankful that he was comfortable with himself now and he hardly ever had hassle for being gay.

What he also noticed first was that Lawrence hated the man his daughter was going to marry, which he was also curious about. But Aaron tried to avoid gossip that didn’t concern him. He didn’t want to start turning into his mother yet. So he didn’t pay attention to Katie’s and Andy’s past with him (that was all between the three of them) unlike Chas, who definitely seemed to be of the opinion that it’d be for the best if Robert Sugden had stayed away. Victoria was happy to have her brother back though and that Aaron was glad about.

Walking past the pub one day, he also first noticed the white Audi sports car which was parked outside. 

Damn, it was a nice car. The closest he could hope to get to one, of course, was mooning over it here or, if he was lucky, getting to work on it in the garage one day.

Still, it was probably driven by a grade-a wanker. They usually were.

“Hey!” Aaron nearly jumped when he heard the shout behind him, coming from the pub entrance. Instead he turned around casually and gave an annoyed look. “Get away from my car, will ya?”

“Are you for serious, mate? I’m not anywhere near it.” Aaron raised his voice back to the tall, blond and not-at-all unattractive man, not taking a step from where had been standing.

“Yeah but you’re clearly eyeing it up so –” He cocked his head, Aaron figured in the direction in which he wanted him to fuck off. And normally he would be about now. Because he’d cooled down since he’d returned to the village and though he never intended to become a pushover, he also couldn’t afford to get into more trouble, nor could his mother deal with any more.

“Do you want me to even your face out for ya or something?” Aaron shouted, seeing the man had already recently received a smack to the face, it seemed.

Sighing and stepping forward with his hands in his pockets, the man gave an infuriating smirk.

“Why don’t you just be a good boy and walk away, before causing trouble in front of my step mum’s pub?”

So this was the man who had so many people in the village worked up already. He really was a git.

But Aaron shook his head, laughing at him slightly, which he noticed made him a tad less sure of himself.

“Not worth it,” he turned away. “Really a wanker,” he murmured to himself while he walked away.

“What was that?!” Robert seemed surprised at this stranger not taking his shit, as if the expensive car and (also not unattractive) expensive clothes was meant to make people walk all over themselves to impress him. While he was examining his car now, he even seemed unaware of why someone would stand up to him over simply asking them to step away from it.

“So what is it exactly you’re trying to make up for with that?” Aaron couldn’t help but shout back after him - even while he was thinking that though it definitely wasn’t his appearance, it could certainly be his sparkling personality.

“Just keep your hands to yourself in future, right mate?!” Robert was outraged now, too much to even think of a better come back but he didn’t do anything more since Aaron had already walked away.

Though he hadn’t walked far enough that he didn’t see Robert Sugden walk dejectedly back to the pub, practically sulking that (Aaron assumed) the village peasants weren’t all bowing at his feet now.

 

“Pint?” Robert walked to the bar, leaned on it and observed the pub. No one around he’d have to make small talk with, great.

“Take your time,” he said sarcastically to the barman. Who scoffed and seemed to glare at him. He hadn’t given a proper look to who was working other than to see it wasn’t Diane or Chas, thankfully. Now he did look, he seemed familiar, but not enough for him to recall why he was very slowly wiping a glass clean and making no movement to serve him.

“What?” Robert asked finally, frustrated.

“Are you sure you want me getting you a pint?” The barman said, furrowing his brows at him.

How puzzled Robert was now was written all over his face.

“Right, so,” he placed the glass down and placed his hands on the bar. “I can’t be trusted to stand in the general vicinity of your overpriced ride –“

Robert sighed and did what would be most accurately described as a facepalm. “That was you.”

“Yeah.” Now he was shaking his head at the audacity of the man.

“Look, I was having a bad day. My father-in-law. I’m sure you know how it is. Let’s just forget about it.”

“Seems you already did.”

“I’m not good with faces,” Robert shrugged. Even he could call bullshit on that one. He’d had other things on his mind that day and didn’t care who he took it out on.

“Only because I’d get sacked otherwise,” the barman said as he reluctantly served the pint.

“Cheers,” Robert attempted to give his most charming smile as he reached out a hand. “Robert Sugden.”

“Yeah, I know.” He ignored the hand. “Aaron.”

“Chas’s son?” Robert took his pint with his hand instead. “So you do know what it’s like?”

“What?”

“You know… family… stuff.”

Another glare told him to shut up, which he did by taking a sip. He thought it was a smooth cover up.

“Dingle?” Robert asked eventually.

“Livesy,” Aaron grumbled.

Nodding and smiling, Robert wondered why he wasn’t going to sit somewhere and giving up with this tool. Maybe because enough people around here couldn’t stand the sight of him. Or maybe for the same reason his eyes kept lingering on his torso and arms and stubble…

“Hey, babe!” Chrissie called before reaching him to kiss him on the cheek.

Robert tried not to sigh in disappointment as they got into talking about her day, while also trying to not be distracted by Aaron with the stubble. Even though he was pretty sure he’d just called him a wanker as he turned away from them. Robert tried to pass off his smile as being at something Chrissie said.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU continuation from First Impressions.

For the next week, they passed each other in various places of the village. Robert tried to make eye contact or even greet him but Aaron usually kept walking, his hands in his hoody or overalls’ pockets and his head down. Robert was unsure if he was being snubbed or Aaron was just deep in thought. Probably a bit of both.

And he blanked him back for a while. He had other stuff to focus on - but it was hard to resist trying to find an escape for it. There was no guarantee that even if he pursued this, it wouldn’t blow up in his face but he couldn’t entirely stop thinking of how he could test the waters with Aaron…

“Alright, mate?” He said to him casually one day when he was at the pub with a pint, while Aaron was waiting for his.

“What’s it to you?” Aaron shrugged. Robert tried not to show his irritation though Aaron barely looked at him to even have noticed if he did.

“This place really knows how to be welcoming,” Robert tried to joke but his voice wasn’t as light as he wanted.

“That probably has more to do with you though, don’t it?” Aaron shrugged.

“Yeah, it probably does,” Robert sighed, deciding to not make something of it and try to lighten the mood.

Aaron gave him a puzzled look, saying nothing until he got his beer.

“Got nothing else to say?” Robert turned on his chair, his elbows on the bar, and gave a pointed look.

“Huh?” Aaron guessed he was referring to his usual parting words to him but wasn’t going to admit it.

“Nothing,” Robert said and returned to his drink, with a smirk as he heard Aaron huff away.

Aaron rolled his eyes and kept his lips tight to contain his annoyance. He really didn’t need some rich prick winding him up when he was trying to have a quiet pint.

Despite himself, he looked back up at where Robert was sitting at the bar. He was checking his phone then texting someone. Probably Chrissie.

Just his presence made Aaron grind his teeth even without knowing for sure what about the man got to him so much. He leaned forward on his forearms and checked his own phone, with his head down.

Ross texting him to get back from whatever gay bar he was at to get back to work. Chas asking what he was up to. So no one he wanted to talk to.

That distracted him for a lot less time than he’d hoped but long enough that he hadn’t heard anyone walk to where he was sitting in the corner.

“Everything alright?” Robert asked, trying to give a friendly smile.

“Do you like creeping up on people or something?”

“Sorry,” Robert held his hands up. “Just wanted to ask if I could get you another.”

“Why?” Aaron asked with genuine puzzlement.

“Because your coming in here with a face like a slapped arse is really bringing down the mood.”

“Thanks,” Aaron replied sarcastically, head down still to try and hide his chuckle.

“I think I’m doing everyone a favour really so-“

“Fine, whatever,” Aaron shrugged.

Robert tried to downplay that he was pleased at this and not just trying to kill time over his lunch.

“Here ya go,” Robert said, placing two pints down and preceding to sit across from Aaron.

“Alright if I join you?” Robert asked lightly in response to the look Aaron gave him, who now gave a half shrug.

“Already have so…”

Robert made small talk for a while, kind of realising at this point he didn’t actually have a plan here other than try to seem less of an asshole.

“Yeah, the garage’s um… Sorry, do you want something?” Aaron asked, realising he had no idea why he was talking to him.

“Just,” Robert shrugged. “Getting to know this place again.”

“I’m sure Victoria can tell you all you want to know and a lot more…” Aaron moved his beer mat around aimlessly.

“Yeah, well, I’d rather know just what I want to. And I guess you’re the quiet type… Not likely to go on a tirade about your ex-boyfriend in prison or…”

Aaron cleared his throat at the reference to his own best mate.

“Oh, you don’t have an ex-boyfriend in prison too, do ya?” Robert joked.

“No,” Aaron answered. Going out with a criminal was maybe the one disastrous life choice he’d avoided. “Shockingly, I don’t.”

“No ex…?” Robert intentionally let the ex-what open while hoping that wasn’t too obvious.

Robert had some feeling from him, that his annoyance at his presence was in part because of something more. Well, Robert was entirely aware of how attractive he was to people whose type he was. So – just had to find out Aaron’s type and he could either push this probably ridiculous idea out of his head or…

“I have exes,” Aaron shrugged. “Probably not as many around here as you.”

“Fair enough,” Robert said.

“I thought you didn’t want to gossip,” Aaron asked lightly, furrowing his brows.

“What’s wrong? You have more embarrassing exes than the nutcases I’ve been with?”

“Should you really talk about your brother’s soon-to-be wife like that?” Aaron asked. She was also his mother’s best friend and she was alright in his book.

“Maybe if she wasn’t so obsessed with me. And My Little Pony.” Robert responded pointedly.

Aaron laughed despite himself. “You’re really-“

“Hilarious?” Robert asked. With a cheeky grin he added, “Gorgeous?”

“A wanker,” Aaron said, emphasising to deny he would find Robert gorgeous. But he was strangely flustered under Robert’s gaze. It was an effect he had on him from that sort of look that could make anyone feel like they’re the only person in the world. Or the only person who matters. Aaron lowered his head again as he felt his cheeks starting to get warmer, especially as his eyes wandered along the other man’s strong jawline and slightly mussed up hair.

“Ta,” Robert laughed along. That wasn’t what he’d intended but he noted the difference in Aaron’s body language, that he was less seemingly annoyed at Robert’s presence.

“I should go,” Aaron said, clearing his throat.

“Already?”

“Some of us have to work to do,” Aaron said. “I’m sure Victoria can indulge your gossiping.”

As Aaron left Robert wondering what he was doing nearly publicly flirting with a local mechanic, Aaron was even less sure of himself. His opinion of Robert Sugden hadn’t changed, but still, he was flustered by him. Running his hands through his short hair, he kicked himself for his adolescent feelings.

 

When Aaron didn’t have anyone much to go with on nights out any more, it wasn’t usually a success. But he went to bars at times and he occasionally pulled, though he hadn’t met anyone he’d want to spend more than a night with for a while. Even with Ed, after a while, it was too much effort to have a relationship with him. There were certain things he missed about him – mostly, his rugby player body, at the moment – but the rest of the time it had been sniping or awkward silences by the end. Thoughts of whether it was something wrong with him and relationships often made him pessimistic about the prospect but he tried to push them away. He also tried to think that he didn’t want a relationship now anyway – since he’d got back to the village, he’d definitely been focussing on his family and friends. But he couldn’t help but also wish for something else, or someone else, in his life as well.

But as Aaron thought of Ed that night at the bar, it was mostly the nights they’d spent together that were on his. And as he flirted with a bloke for most of the night, who was taller and prettier than he usually went for, before going back to his place. It was mostly fumbling and awkward but he’d needed it, for the distraction from tensions in his life and the welcome feeling of a warm body against his. Afterwards, as they lay next to each other, breathing slowing down as they came down, Aaron remembered what else he missed most. The feeling of someone else in bed with him he’d always liked, that he didn’t feel so isolated and alone when there was somebody next to him at night.

Waking up in a strange bed was awkward but was also a nice change from waking up alone. As he sat up and looked around for his clothes, he reminded himself that this had just been physical. That was all he’d been looking for anyway.

“Leaving?” Aaron heard behind him as he was pulling his underwear on. He could feel the other man’s eyes lingering over his body. Aaron was still shy about turning around, and showing his stomach, to guys he’d just met and kept his back to him.

“Yeah,” Aaron answered shortly.

“Last night was… great.” He said and Aaron nodded in response. “We should do it again.”

“I have your number,” Aaron said as he was finishing getting dressed. “I have to get to work, I’ll see ya…”

“Paul?” He finished for Aaron.

“Uh yeah, sorry.” Aaron shuffled his feet, steadily moving nearer to the door.

“It’s fine. Call me some time if you want,” he said, lying back in his bed. The clear sight of his physique, thin but still fit, left Aaron thinking he might do that in future, even if for not anything more than what they’d shared the night before.

Aaron nodded and walked out before ‘the morning after’ got more awkward. On his way home, he couldn’t help feel unsatisfied. Last night was whatever he’d wanted as he went out, with a guy looking for the same, who wasn’t bad in bed, but he still couldn’t help but think about Jackson and Ed. The times when he’d been comfortable and happy and didn’t think he’d be meeting random men to get off with in again, while spending the rest of his time alone.

 

“Where’ve you been?” Chas asked as he walked in the kitchen. Aaron could tell she was trying to sound casual but her questioning came out more shrill than intended. Chas didn’t really judge but she still worried when she didn’t know where Aaron was.

“Out,” he shrugged in reply, sighing. Chas cleared her throat and returned to her coffee. More awkward moments. Though he understood that she just cared about him, which he didn’t mind, especially as he chose to return to be nearer to her, he could however do without it this morning.

“Where’re ya going?” He heard behind him as he left again.

“Out,” he called over his shoulder.

“Of course,” Chas sighed.

 

“C’mon, Dog,” Robert grumbled, walking by the pub. He’d wanted to get away from Lawrence and his snide comments, then Chrissie’s disapproval when he couldn’t stop himself from returning the pathetic old man’s insults. As he left, he’d said something to Chrissie about Lachlan being too much of a waster to walk his own dog, which really wasn’t necessary when she was so hypercritical of herself after years as a single mother. Robert was irritated by them but as irritated at himself at the moment by how he sometimes dealt with it.

“’Dunno his name?” A voice broke into his thoughts.

“Oh, hey,” Robert said, brightening as he saw Aaron leaning against one of the outside tables with his hands in his pockets. “Uh, no, that’s his name, Dog.”

“Right,” Aaron said doubtfully.

“It is,” Robert insisted, tugging the dog closer to the table where Aaron was.

“Poor dog,” Aaron whispered as he leant down to brush his hands through the fur of the white and brown sheepdog.

For a moment, Robert’s voice was caught in his throat. Despite the fact he was thinking and worrying about his fiancée just a moment ago, he found himself undeniably drawn to this younger man who could be unapproachable one moment but so gentle the next. When he stood back up, still smiling at the dog, Robert smiled too.

“What are you up to this morning?” Robert asked eventually, trying to look less obvious as he watched Dog winding around them and sniffing Aaron curiously.

“Not much,” Aaron sighed and shrugged, feeling more aware that he’d practically just done the walk of shame and hadn’t even showered yet.

“I’m guessing you won’t want to go for a pint,” Robert said, seeing the signs of his hangover.

Aaron’s face flushed again as he shook his head ‘no’. His heart lurched at the realisation he was being affected again by him, an engaged man who he wasn’t sure he even liked. At the realisation of what an idiot he was being, he quickly he took his hoody off, awkwardly hoping to pass this off to Robert as being warm.

He smelled distinctly of alcohol, sweat and whatever body spray he’d used too much of last night before he went out. He smelled of sex and looked like it to Robert too, in a black t shirt that was perfectly tight over his biceps. His eyes lingered over the hair of his arms, his rough looking hands and to his waist. God, he wanted to touch him and they were standing so close…

“Erm, I should,” Aaron stepped backwards away suddenly and pointed back, “go.”

As he walked away, Aaron kicked himself. He had such a pathetic crush he was imagining a straight man had actually been checking him out. He shook the thought that that was even possible out of his head. But he still had to resist looking back at where Robert was and if he was looking at him as he walked away.

If he had looked up, he would have seen Robert was doing just that while wondering if he’d done something to make him leave, and why he even cared if he did.

 

The next week was hectic with Robert behaving like more of a twat than usual, even he could tell that in hindsight. What he wasn’t sure of was whether he actually regretted how he’d treated Lawrence or that he did it so publicly that of course Chrissie found out immediately.

The way he’d flirted with Finn, whether or not it was to fluster Lawrence, and flaunted how he’d used his sexuality against Lawrence from the beginning was risky. But he’d gotten a weird thrill from that. He was marrying a woman and just as much rubbed it in Lawrence’s face that he was sleeping with his daughter under the same roof as him. There was no reason anyone would guess he was also into men. As long as he behaved like a straight man who was about to get married.

The problem was, he didn’t want to. Sure, he’d spent his whole life denying he was anything but straight, which wasn’t going to change, but that didn’t mean he’d always denied himself. If he wanted to have one night stands with men, he could go do that, again, though he’d resisted since he’d been with Chrissie. But at the moment, it was getting difficult. A part of him wondered if he’d taken his frustration at his own sexuality out on Lawrence and his messy gay, or whatever, past.

There was also Finn, who was… cute. That he was into Robert was clear; he hadn’t needed all the carefully placed hands, on his shoulder, in _his_ hands, to tell him that. But trying something with his sister’s best mate would be too stupid. Not worth the risk.

Besides, there was someone else who Robert couldn’t get out of his thoughts. He was getting more and more distracted by what he would like to do to him and feel him touching him back, kissing him…

That was exactly what was running through his mind when he next greeted Aaron. Robert had to remind himself to not behave like he was trying to pull at his local pub. He didn’t even know if Aaron was gay, or like him, even though he suspected that Aaron wanted him too.

Or he had. But this time, Aaron seemed to be back to blanking him or only responding with grumbling.

“Everything alright?” Robert asked eventually, leaning closely against him at the bar, sliding his hand over the back of his chair.

“No,” Aaron answered quickly, looking down at his drink to ignore his closeness. “Just you, as usual.” He downed the rest of his drink and made to leave.

“Wait,” Robert stopped him, placing a hand flat on his chest. “What’d I do?”

“Are you serious?” Aaron laughed nervously, trying to ignore how he felt under Robert’s hard stare and warm and surprisingly soft touch. “Do you mess around with people so much you can’t keep track?”

Robert sighed and lowered his hand, about to try and play innocent or explain himself when Aaron shook his head and left.

“Is this about … Lawrence?” Robert asked, following him out the pub. He figured it would look better for him if he owned up to it.

“Yeah?” Aaron replied, trying to seem uninterested in what Robert had to say. He wanted to convince himself to get over it, especially when he was straight and now possibly homophobic. But in the back of his mind, something told him that maybe it wasn’t as bad as it seemed. Finn and Victoria hadn’t seemed so bothered by it, as much as they were confused by the whole occurrence, but Aaron had known what Lawrence had been through and how unfair it all was. No matter what he was like as a person, being imprisoned for being in love with another man wasn’t something to use against him. That was sick.

“It was wrong, I know.” Robert sighed, putting on the apologetic act he’d used on Chrissie.

“Do you?” Aaron looked at him doubtfully.

“Well, you know what a pain he is. I was drinking, he was being his usual self, belittling me every chance he got, and the topic came up-“

“The topic? Of being gay and having your life threatened for it?” Aaron asked bitterly.

“Sort of,” Robert sighed. “Look it wasn’t that serious, I apologised and-“

“I don’t believe you,” Aaron interrupted again.

“You don’t _believe_ me?” Robert laughed humourlessly.

“I know you hate him,” Aaron said. You didn’t need to be a rocket scientist you see it and his behaviour now seemed somehow fake to Aaron. “And maybe you have reasons for it. But what you did was out of line. You don’t just bring something like that up, in front of a room of people.”

“It wasn’t like that,” Robert argued.

“I think that’s exactly how it was. You think you can use people however you want to get what _you_ want,” Aaron said, walking away.

“Hey, you don’t know me!” Robert raised his voice after him. Thoughts of why he’d approached Aaron were leaving his mind and Robert was getting aggravated by this righteous attitude.

“Nah, I don’t,” Aaron said more quietly. “But I think you’re nasty and cruel, and that’s enough for me to want you to stay out of my way. OK?” He turned away again without waiting for Robert’s answer to that.

“No, it’s not,” Robert said, following him and getting more aggravated that he thought he could just walk away from him. “Why is this such a big deal?”

“Why do you think?!” Aaron growled.

“Oh, you’re-?” Robert cleared his throat. This wasn’t exactly how he’d have wanted that confirmed for him, especially while he was back to hating him now anyway.

“It doesn’t matter what I am!” Aaron said, shaking his head. “It’s you - if you have such a problem with it, why don’t you just-” Aaron sighed. “Just forget it.”

“No, you don’t understand,” Robert said, holding Aaron back by the arm.

“No, _you_ don’t,” Aaron said, roughly pushing Robert back, with both hands against his chest. “Stay away from me.”

With that, Aaron did leave, leaving Robert with mixed feelings. That he hadn’t listened to his explanation, even if he’d have exaggerated how innocent he was in it all, frustrated him. That he’d been interested in someone so stubborn, so full of himself up on his high horse and possibly a bit psycho…

But, he realised, he wasn’t at all less interested. His heart was racing like it hadn’t for a while and he could still feel his touch on his chest. It was a firm push, not hard enough to hurt, just to push him away from him. Smirking with pleasure, Robert realised that was the most reaction he’d had from him. And he felt very ready for the challenge of turning those into more positive feelings, so that the next time he laid hands on him would be just as passionate, for very different reasons.

 

Later on, he came in the back way of the Woolpack after he’d seen Aaron walking in that direction.

“Can you not take a hint?!” Aaron said angrily as Robert walked into the kitchen after checking no one else was around.

“I guess not,” Robert said.

“What do ya want?” Aaron said, continuing making himself tea, figuring he should control himself here.

“To talk.” Robert said softly.

“I’ve said all I wanna say,” Aaron said shortly. He’d been trying to bring himself to his senses, remind himself that Robert Sugden was a piece of shit that it’d be best for him to stay away from entirely, let alone needing to remind himself to stop checking him out.

“Fine, then you can listen,” Robert said, standing next to him. Aaron tried harder to control himself and he wasn’t even sure if he was trying to not hit him or trying to not do something else entirely.

“I was just trying to be taken seriously,” Robert said. “You don’t know how much Lawrence has been out to get me, to ruin what I’ve got, what I earned! Even with my mum’s anniversary… I … wanted to put him in his place.”

Aaron scoffed.

“But you’re right. I know it was petty,” Robert added quickly. “What I did, how I went about it, was wrong.”

Aaron shrugged. Of course it was wrong, he wasn’t going to congratulate Robert for recognizing that.

“I’m sorry if it hurt you,” Robert said softly, close to Aaron’s ear.

“It’s not me you should be apologising to,” Aaron said, still angry but a lot less so, despite knowing that, logically, he shouldn’t buy what Robert had to say so easily.

“Yeah, I should,” Robert said, looking him in the face. “I want you to know it had nothing to do with him being gay. I mean, it did, but it wasn’t because of that. I wouldn’t… judge you for that.”

“That’s very big of you,” Aaron said sarcastically. But he knew that Robert’s soft voice and that look again were bringing him back around.

“C’mon,” Robert said, smiling and turning him by his arm gently to face him properly. “Say you forgive me.”

“Shut up,” Aaron grumbled, pulling his arm away half-heartedly. “You’re still an ass.”

“I know,” Robert agreed. “But you like it.”

“Do I?” Aaron asked, scoffing at how sure of himself Robert was.

“Yeah, I think you do,” Robert said in a low voice, stepping closer to Aaron.

Aaron didn’t deny it but he was still unsure about what was happening here. Robert was straight, he’d slept with enough women around here, and half the time they were together they were fighting. But it made sense that despite that, Robert had tried to pursue some friendship, for no real reason. Unless this was the reason, the same as why he was standing so close with his eyes on Aaron’s lips, nearly stalling Aaron’s breathing. And all the times Aaron had thought Robert was flirting with him or checking him out, Aaron realised he hadn’t been imagining it out of hopefulness.

“Maybe I do,” Aaron said finally, making Robert smile and Aaron knew how he could wrap people around his finger, even while he was probably doing the same to him.

But Aaron didn’t care, not when Robert was pressing his lips against his, pulling him close against him so that Aaron could feel his heavy breathing and how much he wanted him. Aaron closed his eyes into a deep kiss, enjoying the feel of Robert’s hands strongly holding him by the back of his head and around his waist.

“I want you so much,” Robert whispered against Aaron’s mouth.

“I got that,” Aaron breathed, and kissed him again roughly, hungrily, pulling him against him by the lapels of his suit jacket. Robert leaned into the kiss, but still desperately pulling him against him so that he was at the same height. They lowly moaned against each other, breathing heavily and reaching for each other as if they needed to grab onto every part of the other man now that they finally gave into what they wanted, with mouths opening, tongues thrusting and hands inching lower.

“Upstairs?” Aaron asked in a whisper when they finally broke apart, still breathing against each other.

“Uh,” Robert hesitated as he steadied his breathing, moving his hands down from Aaron’s head along his body.

What was he doing? He wanted Aaron, sure, but he was going to marry Chrissie. When he was working so hard to be taken seriously by the Whites, to fit back into the village in his much more elevated role, could he really mess it up for a quick shag?

Biting his lip as he looked back at Aaron’s expectant face, Robert couldn’t say that the prospect didn’t tempt and even excite him. This was what he’d been wanting but he hadn’t been thinking with his head, clearly, which now he realised as he was giving into those urges.

Slowly, he stepped back, still not sure of what he actually wanted.

“I have to go, actually,” Robert said.

“Are you sure?” Aaron asked, confused again by the other man.

“Yeah… I’m meeting Chrissie,” Robert said, more sure are he thought of the woman he was meant to be in love with. And as Aaron looked down and some laughed humourlessly, he was reminded of how he’d had to convince people he wasn’t just after her for her money, of how serious he was.

“Forget it,” Robert said. This had been stupid.

“Look, we don’t have to-” Aaron said.

“I know! And we’re not because I have to go.” Robert said, evading his eyes as he went to leave. “I’ll see ya.”

Even as Robert had left, ignoring Aaron’s confusion and accusation that he had been messing him around, he was already questioning himself. The sharp cold of the night air started to erase the after effects of the heat of the moment with Aaron, which Robert breathed against and welcomed. But even as he texted Chrissie, he wasn’t just going to forget how he was feeling about Aaron, especially as he’d felt the same way. The thoughts of what he could be doing to the younger man’s body ran through his head while he went to meet Chrissie, reminding him that couldn’t turn this off for Chrissie or to just achieve and live his perfect life.


	3. Chapter 3

Slamming the door behind him to announce his presence, Robert barged into the Home Farm office. No one was around, he saw with relief, though he'd wanted to get straight back into his role as the loving straight fiancée and genius employee to forget about what had happened earlier.

Robert slumped back against one of the desks, sighing and stroking his hands through his hair, anxiously tugging at tufts of hair in his fists.

What had he been thinking? What was he thinking now? He craved to go back to the pub and apologise to Aaron, then skip an explanation for his erratic behaviour and again roughly pull him into a firm kiss. He wanted so much to touch and taste every part of the man who could so infuriate and frustrate him, but who he couldn't get out of his mind.

But he forced himself to look around him, at what he could be risking by letting himself give into some primitive urges.

“Decided to do some actual work?” Lawrence's smug voice interrupted Robert's panicked thoughts.

“I've been doing work,” Robert lied.

“Right,” Lawrence said sarcastically, dropping himself into a desk chair. “Well, you're not doing anything now. Isn't it time you apologised to Chrissie?”

“Chrissie?” Robert furrowed his brow.

“For your behaviour this morning,” Lawrence said. “She was worried she'd done something wrong, you know. If you _have_ to marry my daughter, may I suggest you at least don't treat her like dirt?”

“I – I wasn't,” Robert said. “It was you who was- Fine, whatever,” he sighed. “Where is she?”

“She's about to have dinner,” Lawrence answered. “Don't take your time, you do have other responsibilities other than clearing up your own messes.”

Robert walked out with a sigh – it wasn't worth getting into an argument with him, when he'd rather not be in the same room as his smug face, which was not exactly reminding him of why he wanted to stay here. The old man enjoyed it too much when Robert and Chrissie weren't on the best terms, even if he wanted Chrissie to be happy. He'd probably been slagging Robert off to her, trying to make something into an issue when it wasn't.

He'd just been snogging the face off a man and completely forgetting about her.

“Robert, where have you been?” Chrissie asked, welcoming him with both concern and annoyance as he entered the kitchen.

“Work,” Robert said as if it was obvious. What was with everyone keeping tabs on him today? “What's wrong? I apologised, didn't I?” They were also meant to have met earlier but Robert had been late and she texted him back that she was going home. As torn as he was between returning to Aaron and meeting Chrissie, he'd lost track of time.

“In a text,” Chrissie moped.

“Fine,” Robert said, holding her by the shoulders in front of him. “I'm sorry.”

Chrissie smiled, despite herself. “It's fine,” she said and folded her arms around his neck.

“How about I make you your favourite?” Robert asked, after they kissed.

“My favourite meal or-” Chrissie teased him.

“I'm just a piece of meat to you, aren't I?” Robert said, laughing despite what was running through his mind.

 

Lying in bed next to her later, Robert felt distinctly unsatisfied. He'd hoped sex, no matter who with, would stop him thinking about being with somebody else but it had just been going through the motions with Chrissie. His desire for Aaron felt less urgent but it was still there.

Next to him, Chrissie's breathing was steady. She was asleep with her back to him. It was comfortable but too comfortable and sleep was still the last thing on Robert's mind though. It was still early enough so, as quiet as he could, he collected his clothes and left the room.

He told himself he was just going to go for a walk until he tired himself out more. Then he would return to the bed he shared with his future wife, to check more off the imaginary list of what he had to do to convince everyone, including himself (sometimes especially himself), that he loved her.

But before he could stop himself he was back behind the wheel of his Audi. He was just going for a drive though, he told himself, and he drove around aimlessly, trying to empty his mind as he sat back and gave himself away to the peaceful country scenery.

How many times had he done this before he moved away? Two glowing eyes watched him on the road ahead and Robert slowed down to let the fiery red fox run past him on the road, recalling the excitement he felt as a child whenever he spotted them.

Eventually, even this led him back to the niggling doubts he kept feeling lately. The façade he was living wasn't who he really was, the boy who grew up here, who was born on a farm, who was a weedy teenager who lost his virginity to an older woman because his brother made fun of him and who was a serial cheating mechanic. Sooner or later he'd be found out as a fake. 

Sure, Chrissie knew all of that, she knew the facts about his dysfunctional and sometimes downright sordid past, but she chose to believe he'd moved on from all that and grown as a person. Robert wasn't as sure that he had - he knew Chrissie wouldn't be okay with learning the sort of person he really was. Was he in love with her or was the character he'd created for himself and imitated for the whole time he'd been with her the only one who was?

He ended up driving through the village, as if there was some sort of magnetic pull on him to it. As many times as he made himself drive right by the pub, he eventually stopped the car. It was closed now and he imagined everyone would be in bed.

Robert slowly unbuckled his seat belt and reached for the car door. Then stopped and buckled up his seat belt again, placing his hands onto the wheel again. If he left now and drove straight back home, nobody would be as suspicious if he arrived home at this time, and truthfully said that he'd gone for a walk if anybody asked. He considered this for a minute, while he tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, ready to drive off but he eyes darting to the windows of the pub to see if any lights were on.

Finally, he stepped out of the car, back into the cold night air – he recalled how earlier in the night he'd tried to forget Aaron after leaving him. But he wasn't going to, not until he got what he wanted – what they both clearly wanted.

Walking swiftly to the door before he lost his nerve again, he knocked on the back door of the pub, hopefully quietly enough that not everyone would hear him. But he was already figuring out what he could tell Diane, that he'd had an argument with Chrissie, or something like that, if she was awake and it was her who came to the door.

When he was about to walk away, the door finally opened slowly.

“What the hell, Robert?” Aaron asked in a harsh whisper.

“Aaron,” Robert sighed. “I was worried someone else would answer.”

“They're asleep,” Aaron said shortly, still confused by Robert's appearance in the middle of the night, when Aaron had been about to go to bed, later than he'd even meant to.

“Good,” Robert said, nodding and shuffling his feet. “You gonna let me in, then?”

“Now?” Aaron asked. “What for?”

Robert laughed and stepped on the threshold, teasingly pulling Aaron closer by the front of his t-shirt. “What do you think?”

“What about earlier?” Aaron said, surly still and trying not to be a doormat, as much as he wanted to immediately give in to Robert.

“Like I said,” Robert shrugged. “I had to go. But I'm here now, aren't I?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said, smiling cheekily, and stepping back from the doorway to give Robert room to pass, trying to not seem too eager.

Throwing the door closed after him, Robert crossed the threshold and kissed Aaron hard, hand on either side of his neck, in one quick motion. 

“Are you sure?” Aaron breathed when they finally broke apart, clearly feeling what Robert wanted.

“Yeah,” Robert answered, though he only was sure if he pushed all thoughts of what he should be doing, and being, out of his mind. This was what he needed now. “Are you sure everyone's asleep?”

Aaron nodded, smiling again. It was a thrill to do something that he knew he shouldn't be and to not care about what the consequences might be. Especially it was as he led Robert to his bedroom and he knew the older man felt the same thing as he pushed him back against the door and started removing the few clothes he was wearing between rough, toothy, desperate kisses.

Feeling the cold roughness on the now naked skin of his back and ass, he pulled Robert down back into a sex filled kiss before roughly throwing Robert's jacket and shirt to the floor.

“Ohh,” Aaron moaned, throwing his head back against the wall, as Robert slammed him back, holding his cock in his fist and biting the skin of Aaron's throat appreciatively.

Aaron pushed him back to undo his belt and push Robert's jeans and pants to the ground with a satisfying clink of the belt. With the lights off, he shoved Robert down on his bed where he could see him fully, swallowing as he anticipated sex with someone whose entire manner and perfect body radiated sex in the soft moonlight, as he lay on his elbows, watching Aaron with lust in return.

Carefully, seductively slowly, Aaron moved onto him, hands either side of his head on the bed as he leant down to softly brush his lips against his. He stroked the soft skin along his chest as Robert pressed his lips against him still, along his stubble. 

"Fuck," Robert whispered as he felt Aaron again. Overwhelmed with desire for him, to have him right now, he moved him off of him and onto the bed on his back, and messily kissed him down his next, chest, stomach, the trail of hair that led down...

 

Afterwards, they both lay on the bed, breathing heavily and look at the ceiling to avoid looking at each other, and any talk about what they were doing and how it could never happen again that then might follow. Robert knew he should leave but convinced himself that coming home at what must be around 4am now would raise more questions from Chrissie than if he said he had to suddenly stay the night – he was already piecing together how he suddenly had to have meetings in the city the next day so stayed the night first, but didn't want to wake her when he left.

Even though he didn't want to, Aaron was also wondering about his fiancée and whether she knew or was now wondering where Robert was, but he stopped himself from saying anything. Bringing her up wouldn't help the situation, that had now gotten quiet awkward as the blinding lust had lifted. It's not like he'd been thinking about her when he had his legs firmly wrapped about her fiancé, even if he felt a pang of guilt as he considered that now. 

“Your mattress is lumpy,” Robert said at last, mostly just to break the silence - particularly before Aaron said whatever he seemed like he was about to say that would surely be a mood killer.

“Maybe if you lived on my salary-”

“I already did once,” Robert retorted. “without having springs digging into my bed at night.”

“So what, you wanna go mattress shopping?”

“That wouldn't be at all suspicious,” Robert chuckled.

When Aaron looked over at Robert, he seemed surprisingly happy for someone who would surely get into trouble for this. He'd clearly been worried about that earlier even if he came up for a flimsy excuse to disguise the fact.

Robert was happy, despite the cheap bed – so much of what he wished he felt earlier, in his own bed, but had been missing was there now. The excitement of not knowing what would happen next, the thrill of every new touch with a new man and especially with the element of how wrong it was, which Robert had always gotten off on, that was all what he needed. 

So, when he left the next day, again avoiding eye contact with Aaron to avoid _that_ talk (though Aaron still asked annoying questions about what he would say about where he'd been), he felt he'd made the right decision in coming here. He'd needed it, just to get this out of his mind, like he'd done in the past with one night stands with men. Leaving the pub before anyone had woken up, Robert was sure he wouldn't be plagued by any more thoughts about Aaron to cause conflict with the life he led now.


End file.
